Own The Moment

What up world?...this post may turn angry, yes angry I am not angry right now at all just very frustrated...the past 9 months of my life have drained my very existence...I have been tested and really don't feel the need or have the interest in being blind to reality...I don't wanna continue on living in the same fashion that have spent the past 23 years...I really wanna spend this 23rd year improving on life not staying trapped inside a bland existence of fear doubt and living inside someone else's skin...you may be asking where has this come from...well I've been driving myself crazy for the past few hours...and honestly have been feeling criticism about my recent actions and or decisions...now I feel like this is unfair and unnecessary...and its really tainted my view of life as Jon Farris...

I don't know why I've allowed others opinions or ideas dictate my life...for example even know as I'm emotionally gaining more and more interest in a particular someone my mind keeps running into circles wondering how all the different people in my life will react or feel about...why does that matter? I keep questioning if what I'm feeling is a lie...I keep asking if I should or deserve to feel what I'm feeling...the truth is I'm very excited about this year in front of e and the years beyond...and that is not because I have "plans" on doing things but because I have actually products and reasons to be excited...my daughter is real and is gonna be here any day now, my music is real I have a show in a few weeks, and album completed and a recent collaboration that will be on an album from a friend out of maryland...a woman that shows me support and has become a very good friend and she loves my album she wants me to play it all the time...yet I can't accept it I keep saying its a lie there is no way anyone can really like it and why? Inside myself I know that its a classic...I know that its great music and that once I let people hear it they will be excited proud amazind impressed and I will gain fans but I'm to damn afraid to stuck in the mindset that jon farris is not what people want...

I need to just won my talent own my gift and own this moment that I believe and feel that I have been blessed with...in my blood in my heart in my spirit and in in my soul I feel like this is y time...like I have found my voice my lane my project and now the world awaits...will I show them? Will I back away? Will I continue to walk on stage afraid of what people think of my clothes? Will I allow myself to really be free? Will I own it own this dream I have? This is the mind of me yes I think this much constantly.I just really don't know how to live this way anymore its really exausting when I can't enjoy the happiness I have because I'm afraid I don't deserve it...

I must own my gift, own my moment, own my happiness...june 1st I begin to show my ownership...right now I take ownership